A Letter to Mom

Thank you for being there for me when I've needed you.
Thank you for the hugs each time I've cried.
Thank you for telling me you love me each time we talk.
Thank you in believing me in, even when I don't believe in myself.
Thank you for making scrapple just for me to take home when I've visited you.
Thank you for the honor of allowing my children to sleep in the same crib you slept in.
Thank you for the stories you've told me about your life.
Thank you for bailing me out of more than one bad situation.
Thank you for the many laughs, and the many tears.
Thank you for the wisdom you've shared.
Thank you for giving me a smile every time I think of you.
Thank you most of all for being my Mom, I'm truly blessed!

As a child I worshipped you, often saying that when I grow up if I become half the woman that you are then I'll be amazing!

Throughout my childhood, and to this day, I see the beauty in you. You're so poised! Very little seems to rattle you even after living 72 years of life! Keeping your composure during the most traumatic of life experiences is an attribute few have, yet many desire!

I remember as a child you used to have me walk around with a book atop my head. I thought it was only to improve my posture, but as I've aged, I realize it meant so much more! You wanted me to always hold my head high with pride, never faltering to that which condemned me. This by far is the lesson I've had the hardest time learning. I've caved more often than not to things, and people, who I seem to have given power over me! Did they deserve such power? No, not really, yet I gave it to them nonetheless. It wasn't until recently that I truly understood your teachings in this regard. Perhaps now that I see more clearly, true change in the right direction will take place.

Your shell.. something to be envied. Sarah (my daughter), somewhat curious as to how she'll age looked at the picture of you sitting on top of Daddy's Austin Healey Sprite the other day. She proceeded to tell me that you've not changed a bit in the last 50 years! Having spoken to you today I learned that Hayden (my nephew), as young as he is, recognized you in that picture as well! That little "pie faced" girl that kids made fun of not only won many beauty pageants, but to this day still looks so beautiful!

Your strength.. How do you do it Mom? It's been almost 20 years since we lost Daddy yet you, all by yourself, have been a shining star as the matriarch of our family. You've been there to support each of us when needed, and not just financially, but with your wisdom, heart, and soul. You've given guidance in hopes that we'll listen, yet you've still been there to pick us up when we've failed yet again. You leaned on Dad when he was alive, but all along you never really needed anyone to lean on! You've proven that you had everything within yourself all along!

When my son was born, you saved our lives. You were the one who alerted the hospital staff that there was something wrong with me. Beyond that, you were the one who raised me to not bow down to defeat! He was so sick but yet I never gave up believing that he'd survive! And that he did! I fought with every bit of strength that I had to give that tiny baby the will to fight when he was too weak to fight his battle alone! I've carried that drive with me and I'm utilizing it in my current situation. I will win this battle, because you've given me the tools to do so!

I'm still not there Mom, I'm still not half the woman that you are, but I'm working on it! Each day I learn something new and each day is a fresh beginning.

Thank you isn't strong enough to relay my appreciation of everything, but it will have to do!

I love you Mom!