Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Beast Within

As I gaze in the mirror today, adorned in only what I was wearing at birth, I see many scars. Some so deeply embedded in my flesh that you'd think they'd bleed if you simply touched them. Others, well they're ones that gently grazed the surface, not deep yet still there.

Some people are afraid of the scars life has inflicted upon me, they close their eyes and turn away. I, well I embrace each one as a cachet of beauty. You see, they're nothing more than the exquisite symbol of a war fought, and won.

We've all been cut many times in our lives. We've all survived. We have choices though, do we allow the blemishes to dictate every move we make, fearful of possibly obtaining another one, or do we grow and learn from them risking yet another mark?

So many deny themselves things they hope and desire out of fear. They carry around the mind set that if I let this person get too close to me, they'll surely hurt me.. after all, it's been done to me in the past. They're afraid to leap into a new adventure (whether it be a job, a hobby, a friendship) because there is the possibility of failure. Is this person who chooses to hold back truly living, or are they simply existing until death?

I'll admit that I've lived most of my adult life very guarded, fearful of allowing anything to scratch the surface. This habit had to end though, otherwise I may as well be dead.

So as I head out today, naked, scarred and vulnerable, I shall face the world and all it offers with enthusiasm, not fear. I'll embrace my family, my friendships, my life trials and tribulations with a renewed sense of endless positive possibilities!

I'd like whoever reads this to join me. Take my hand and together we'll conquer whatever beast who dares rear its' ugly face!

The World is a beautiful place, all you have to do is choose to live...


My name is Billy! said...

Angie I must admit I think your writing skills are simply awesome, you write so well and convey your thoughts and emotions so well.

Good well done and excellent choice of a photo...

Angie ^i^ said...

Writing has always been my release Billy. When all else fails at least I have this.
Please take my hand and face the world naked with me.. together through friendship we can conquer most anything!!
Thanks for the compliment on the pic.. I'm not really nekkid in it, but it does give the illusion that I am.

Susannah said...

I wish I could translate my own thoughts and feelings into words on paper as well as you. Some artists paint with color, some paint with words. All of your work touches me, but this one in particular is one that I recognized as something that is as much a part of me as it is you. It reminds me of a line in a John Denver song, "as different as we are, we're still the same" At the end you ask the reader to take your hand, to join you....what a beautiful world it would be if we could all stand together without the adornments that separate us from one another, figuratively naked clothed only in our human sameness.
Beautiful picture Angie. You look better in your nakedness than I :)

Angie ^i^ said...

WOW, great comment Suzy! You have a way with words, you just need the confidence to share you without caring what others think. We're all beautiful naked as beauty radiates from within and shines through our shells! This world would be a much better place if we all had the raw and untarnished purity of a child!

Thank you for your kindness!!

Tommy said...

Well said. I like you have been severely injured but just like you have left my comfort zone to meet the deamons I fear face to face. I have only stepped out of my comfort zone reciently but it has already provided benefits. You and I are survivors and will be the people we want to be eventially. Keep streching for the unknown without fear of rejection.

Jinxie said...

Very well said Angie! Once we venture out with our scars the doors open up many possibilities. I have a ton of scars inside and out and it took me a long time to deal with the ones inside. I've never tried to hide the ones on the outside. I made sure to protect my inner scars though. After my divorce, I prayed for God to send me a good man, one that would love me as I am. Eight years later, a co-worker told me that I'm not open to a relationship. She said men can see it and they are keeping their distance. So, I took her advice and walked out with an open heart, ready to start all over. I met my husband later that month.
My main issue now that I deal with is Chronic illness that has put me on the sideline in some ways. I am better than I was 5-6 years ago but still I'm not my old self. The scars of illness is weighing heavy on me. Its been an up hill battle and at times I am too tired to fight it. I am willing to take your hand face whatever life throws our way. I know I am going to fall down many times but its nice to have friends to join us in the journey.
Hugs and stuff,

Angie ^i^ said...

The cool thing about taking someone's hand while facing life journeys is that when you fall, you have a person on each side of you to help hold you up!
You're a strong woman and I love the fact that you've not allowed your illness to hold you down.. that's truly beautiful!
Like I said in response to another blog, I envy the love you have! I know true love to exists, I've seen it so often.. and knowing that it does exist makes me content with the fact that it may not be in the "cards" for me. =)
You'll think I'm nuts, but if you have the time some day I'd like to chat with you about something that may just help you with your health issues.. it can't hurt to try! If you'd like that, please feel free to email me ~ angelboku1(at)aol(dot)com. I'll send you my number, or I could call you.
Bless you sweetie ~ you're truly a gift to all who are lucky enough to simply make your acquaintance!!

Angie ^i^ said...

What a lovely comment Tommy! Sometimes it's hard to learn to live.. but we've only got one life and the possibilities are endless!
*hugs* to give you even more strength!!!